of shadow work
facing the darkness /
to live in the light
to live in the light
When I studied this card I was highkey irritated & lowkey shocked at the fact that how we feel about ourselves is so closely tied to how we treat our money & relationships.Let's get into it.
Today we're studying the Minor Arcana card Six of Pentacles, sired by the Major Arcana cards, the Hierophant (Taurus) & the High Priestess (the Moon). Therefore the Six of Pentacles is also called the Moon in Taurus. Let's take a moment & respect the fact that this person has a true couple for parents, the High Priestess & the High Priest. Of course, the High Priestess & the High Priest are supposed to be dedicated to the Most High & not out here making babies, but that's a post for another day lol
Ok, the High Priestess (The Moon) represents the emotional cycles & experiences that create our intuition. We think our intuition is a spooky psychic ability, but really it's the result of our soul living with us for so many lifetimes, that it knows what we're going to do before we're going to do it. Not magic, but habit. The High Priestess is the best friend who knows all our secrets but wouldn't tell a soul. She knows the difference between who we truly are & the way we present ourselves. The Hierophant (remember from the Five of Pentacles) represents our personal integrity. Therefore the Six of Pentacles is the expression of the contradiction between our principles & our behavior. The space between our customs & our laws. Since the root of manifestation is broken down into, "As you believe, so shall it be done unto you," the Six of Pentacles is the card that asks you to pay attention to what is being done unto you, because it is evidence of what you truly believe. For instance, if you say you believe that you deserve to be happy... & you believe in the Law of Attraction... then why do you keep meeting folks that make you miserable? Where is the disconnect between what you think you believe & what you experience?
Let's look at the card: We have the Hierophant (our integrity) in the middle of the card. He is caught having to choose between two energies, both of whom are submitting to his authority. The energy on the left is looking up with his hands out. (Looking for a hand out) Let's assume the little coins about to slip through this person's fingers (money slips through his fingers) are ten cents each. This person cannot even afford to pay a ten (can't pay attention). Still, he can see the tip of the Hierophant's fingers (can see tip / conceited). It's possible that this person's desperation is an act, as they've put a poor looking cap on their hair (put on hair / put on airs). This allows them to beg four more coins (beg for more). Four tens! (A for-tune). Anything is a fortune when you need it now; remember, this dude can't even pay a ten (no pay ten/ no patience). Still, as knee deep (needy) as this person is, they manage to keep their distance (except for their hand out). It seems constantly giving a ten, ten (attention) to this person is the only thing that keeps them close.
Because of the consistent attention given to the energy on the left, the Hierophant (our integrity) doesn't turn to the right. Instead he holds up a weight (hold up, wait). From this perspective, the person on the right is missing his right side (missing right). Mister (Missing) Right is very supportive; he holds the Hierophant's knee (knee him to hold on), & remains close despite the lack of constant attention. This person puts no hat on his hairs (not putting on airs). What you see is what you get. His hair has grown significantly slower than the energy of the left (slow growth), but that's ok because this person will lean on the Hierophant's vest (willing to invest). The Hierophant's left boot is behind Mr. Right; therefore Mr. Right is aware of any hidden feet (hidden fees / feelings). Unlike the person on the left, who comes from a background of wild, unchecked growth (bushes / bullshit), Mr. Right has a solid story building behind him (solid history of building).
Now if we look at these in terms of relationships / money / situations, you'll see this card is calling us out for giving our attention (a ten, ten) to the wrong shit. We focus more on the energies that are conceited, impatient, needy, inattentive, wild, irresponsible, & only want to take from us, & ignore the folks who are stable, patient, supportive & willing to invest in us. We claim we are looking for Mr. Right, but based on this picture he could be joined to our damn hip & we wouldn't notice. Mr. Right has his face on the Hierophant's pocket (face on a pocket / pays out of pocket), yet we prefer to pay into situations that are more interest-bearing (interesting).
Why is that?? Why do we not focus on what we claim to desire? Something is imbalanced here. Either we must admit that we actually want the fuckboy & figure out why that's the case, or turn our damn attention towards a more stable, mature energy that is apparently RIGHT THERE (if we look). But continuing to feed the very energy we claim is depleting us, is insanity. (Hi, I'm Oubria & I'm insane)
You can't say you're saving money for a house (right), but then spend your check on bullshit & get a payday loan (left). You can't say you're gonna eat right & exercise (right), & but then (with a mouth full of cookies) say you'll start tomorrow (left). The shadow energy of this card is evident in the Hierophant's eyes. They are CLOSED. He's not looking at what he's doing, or where his attention, money & time are truly going. He's on auto-pilot, operating from his unconscious. In order to make the switch to align his actions with his values, he'd have to wake up & pay attention to his own habits & their results. Stepping into the light wouldn't be pretty necessarily, but it would allow him to close the gap between who he says he is & who he really is.
Here's (one of) my (MANY) Six of Pentacle(s) story(s):
This was at the job I was telling y'all about, where I was having sex with my married supervisor, all the while claming I didn't like him or want to be having sex with him. I became close friends with another girl who worked there, & when I confided in her about me & the supervisor's relationship, she confided that she'd been fucking him even longer than I had. (She was 19, I was 21, he was 36) Upon realizing we shared a secret, somehow it made us brave enough to admit we were also attracted to each other. I was adamant that I was not gay, but she & I were intimate a couple of times. So here I was sleeping with this girl, and sleeping with my supervisor, & this girl was also sleeping with our supervisor, who was married. This shit became like a cult or something. She & I would go to lunch together & then argue over who was going to bring him back his food.
Anyway I remember this one day that I was sitting at my desk in between calls & I pulled out my Bible. A different supervisor walked over & started roasting tf out of me for reading my Bible at work. And I remember being so...offended. He'd seen me at the parties & looking back he probably knew what I was doing (it was a small office) but I argued him down about how much I loved God & the word of God & how dare he insinuate it was something wrong with me reading my Bible in that environment. I really couldn't see how I must have looked like the biggest damn confused hypocrite until years later. It's like, girl either quit fucking your married boss & your female friend with your "straight" self or just leave your damn Bible at home, geez, ugh.
One of my favorite bible verses is, "Blessed is the man whom God corrects, so do not despise the discipline of the almighty." (Job 5:17) We must be grateful for those moments where God turns our selves around, otherwise we'd end up where we're going. This card is about divine calibration & loving adjustments- which can be humiliating tbh but the alternative is so much worse.
What are y'alls Six of Pentacles?
(& Happy Thanksgiving!!)
Edit: 7:35pm I had a huge duhhhhhh moment where I saw that the literal meaning of this card is CHANGE lololol. It's saying you have to change in order to manifest what you want. You have to get aligned / in line (oh snap the dudes are in line) with who you say you are. If you're not aligned / in line, you have to change.
But another thing I noticed, which I think is the deeper shadow of this card, is the fact that sometimes we want the attention of someone who doesn't act (right) within their integrity. Have you ever been really attracted to & loyal to somebody (I have), willing to invest in them & pay out of your pocket for them (I have), because you know that even though they don't look at you at all, they have hidden feelings for you? (I have) But then you get sick & tired of being loyal & stable & supportive & ignored... so you switch sides & become the needy, desperate, impatient, dramatic person they're accustomed to paying attention to...? (I have)
I still don't know how to deal with it either. I can't figure out if being emotionally stable is worth being lonely af. I mean for the most part it is, but sometimes its not. The only way to be cool with being a supportive, loyal lonely person would be to figure out a way to be attracted to people who are attracted to supportive, loyal, lonely people. Which means I would have to change because if I'm honest with myself, I am really not attracted to stable people. They boring. Which is crazy because I guess that means I come off as boring to the people I'm attracted to because I refuse to be dramatic & shit anymore. But now I'm lonely hahahahaha. So I guess in terms of this card, I'm stuck in the middle- I'm not attractive to the people I'm attracted to, & I'm not attracted to the people I attract. WTF
all of us.