of shadow work
facing the darkness /
to live in the light
to live in the light
Y’all, this Three of Pentacles won’t leave me alone! We’ve had posts where we covered two cards in one day, & now we’re gonna have a post where we cover one card in two days because apparently there is more to say-
I know I said that Pentacles = Pinnacles (problems to solve / perspectives to reach) but the Most High showed me that Pentacles (at least in the case with this card) also = Principles, i.e. rules to live by.
The first principle was that we are not our cells/selves, we are the love that animates our cells/selves. As love, our job is to build a life/light, or a life we like, or a life that is lit up.
Principle 1: Love is who you are, light is what you do.
The second principle is that as love that lights, we have to trust ourselves to move through the darkness via a lifelong process of trial & error whereby we understand & report to others what works & what doesn’t work.
Principle 2: Through trial & error, we learn to trust ourselves & guide others seeking to build a life/light of love.
The third principle is what brought me back to this post because it's important af. Remember when I said in the original post that we have to forgive ourselves & then forget ourselves? That’s because of-
Principle 3: We are not alone. Love & light is not all there is.
Hold those pentacles in your hand for a second.
When we began our shadow work, we agreed to close our eyes & face our inner darkness. We looked into the black hole within ourselves; into our painful memories & ugly bits, the things we aren’t proud of, the things we wish we could forget. We faced the growling shadows within & rectified them one by one. Yay us!
But remember we agreed we are not our shadows, yes? Our shadows were merely blocking our inner light, or keeping us from lighting/liking ourselves. Now that we’ve removed so many layers of darkness, one by one, finally our light/like begins to shine, since we’ve taken the first step (as an act of self of love) toward building ourselves up. We can see that our true nature is the light, & not the darkness. Finally we give ourselves permission to open our eyes (they were closed for a while as we meditated on the inner work, yes?) & truly see.
What do we see? Well… if we are the light, then the only thing we could possibly see is...more darkness. What would be the purpose of spending our lives building a life that is lit up from within, if we are not located in some form of outer darkness? Therefore our life purpose as love, is to illuminate the dark. Now that we’ve dealt with the darkness within us, we are better prepared (& finally aware!) to deal with the darkness outside us. This too, is shadow work.
Let’s use our logic + imagination to see where this is going. If we are love at work in our cells/selves building lives of light, then a shorter title for ourselves would be light workers.
As light workers, by definition & common sense, we can deduce that we must be surrounded by darkness (otherwise what would be the point of the work?) We must also acknowledge that this darkness is closer to us as any other light- because it is the presence of light that gives shape & boundary to darkness.
This isn’t benign darkness either. This darkness is active. This darkness is alive just like we are alive. If we are love-in-self that brings in light, then the darkness too, has a self that brings in dark. The darkness is working just like we are working, & there are more of them than us. If we’ve been assigned (send me! assign!) to keep it light, then they have also been assigned to keep it dark. (read: shady)
Even though the darkness is our closest companion, it takes us a while to discover it there. We as light workers are hella self absorbed (in our self of love) because we like ourselves. We want to be with ourselves, talk about ourselves, share ourselves. Me is our favorite person.
This is why it takes us awhile to realize that those closest to us (read:shady) don’t really like us. Other people building lives they light/like have the ability to like/light us, because they light/like themselves, but those people are at a distance surrounded by their own darkness. That’s how you recognize them as a single light.
However, the darkness (which is sitting right beside you), cannot possibly like/light you. Don’t take it personally, either because this is science. This is the nature of humans, who are dark and light.
The light is there to illuminate the dark- which gives the light purpose. And the dark is there to shade the light, which gives it definition. The light likes/lights the dark, but the dark only needs the light. They don’t like/light you but they are attracted to you (like a moth to a flame), want you, need you, otherwise they would disappear. If not for being near your light, they could see nothing except all the other beings of the dark. They would blend in, lose definition, be lost.
Lost (lost us/ lost us) except for you, the light.
L/us/t, but for you.
Lust for you.
But cannot possibly like you & actively doing the work of the dark, which is to not light/like you.
Hold that pentacle in your other hand.
Now we have to talk about the difference between love (which you are) & lust (which will be offered to you from the darkness).
We also have to talk about why they seem the same at first, but are not the same, & how to figure out the difference between the two.
Have you heard the phrase, “new levels, new devils?” It means that for every level you build your life up, there will always be something that appears on that level to chain you up, hold you back, bring you down, confuse you. Remember that the “devil is in the details, yes?”
Let’s look at the details in the Three of Pentacles. These two men that have entered the cell appear very similar. You could say they are one person, doubled. They both point to the map, as if asking the worker to choose: Which of us is right? Which of us is true? How is the worker to know when they both look & sound so similarly except for minor details? How is he to know which one is love (like him/ likes him) & which one is lust (does not like him but needs him)?
Remember that at each level, there is a devil (in the details/ do, tell). The first level was the moment of creation where the Most High spoke life into existence: Let there be light.
From this level immediately sprang up another principle, seemingly a double of the first, yet quite different in detail (do, tell): From light, came lie.
Let there be light. Let there be lies. These are the two elements of life.
You are love, & your work is to light.
The other is lust, & its work is to lie.
Those that lust for you cannot light / like you, but they can lie to you about love, and they can live with you & lie with you in lust. They can need you & want you & be addicted to you, because you are the light of their life/lie, & all they want to do is live with you & lie with you (while lying to you, but never, ever build a light/life with you that you like, because that would be counter-productive to its purpose.) Remember, the darkness has a job to do, just like you.
Through this process of confusion, we become the embodiment of love lost in lust & our light goes dim.
To prevent this, we must understand that love & lust are as different as light and darkness. The bible tells us that love is patient & kind; this means lust is impatient & mean (I need you now; Who her? Fuck her). The bible says love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. This means lust is all of those things- envious (skinny bitch), boastful (look how much I paid for this!) & rude (no offense but…). The bible says that love is not irritable or resentful, it doesn’t not rejoice in wrongdoing but REJOICES IN THE TRUTH. Meanwhile lust says, hurry up, let's sneak, just lie, no one has to know. Finally, the bible says love never ends; but lust is bored with you already & says sorry, my phone died, I had to work late, I fell asleep.
Oooh, what a mess! Luckily though, the bible also tells us the battle is not y/ours, but the Lord’s. As the love within our cells, our only job is to keep building our lights/lives & not be deceived into darkness through the lustful lost ones (who don’t like/light anything). It’s true the situation seems hopeless (So many levels & devils! So much darkness!) but that’s not our concern. Apparently there is a battle that the Lord is fighting in the darkness (scary bro), & we help Him see by being… ourselves. We are the light, not the fight, you dig? We are the lightworkers, the light of the Lord. That’s it. As long as we keep shining (Shine-in! Do what lights you up!), we can live in the light (truth), observe the dark (lie) & enjoy our perfect position to watch God work.
This also means that life as a lightworker is a consistent mind trip because if we live in truth, observing lies, then nothing we see is to be believed.
We see reality, but we are not supposed to believe it. The phrase seeing is believing is another one of those devil/doubles.
The truth is that believing is seeing.
What do you believe?
(Whatsoever you believe, so shall it be done unto you / so shall it come into view.)
Don’t hold that last pentacle, spend it. There’s plenty more where that came from.
all of us.