 I once heard someone say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. I'm not sure if I believe that because either way the devil is the damn devil. Can we get some new options or naw…?
Just put that in your pocket for a second. A minute back we were forced into a new beginning. Forced because when the universe asked us politely to fucking move already, we played deaf and dumb. Or maybe we weren't playing dumb because you'd have to be some sort of actual stupid to make God talk louder. At some point it behooves us to believe fat meat is frfr greasy, or hell is hot, or some other culturally brown phrase that equates to, it is what it is what it T-I-S- otherwise… Well I don't need to elaborate. We are living in the otherwise. Welcome to plan B. This is what happens when life is lurched forward through a series of emergencies because we still haven't learned to put our feelings aside long enough to plan and execute like the adults at the grownups table. Meanwhile the universe puts the goodies it was holding for us back in the oven because we're still scarfing down old mess. Dammit man! The cook feels DISRESPECTED and we can hear pots banging around in the kitchen. But sadly this tension makes us stress eat the mess already on the table. Dammit man! This is a conundrum. This is confusion. We don't want to be pressured by a perfectionist any more than the chef wants to be dismissed by a novice. This is stressful. This is uncomfortable. This makes us want to eat the mess MORE. Why…? Because it's comfort food. Now back to the question of whether the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. I still don't have an answer. And what difference does it make…? Whatever disguise the devil shows up in, you'll know him by what he offers. It will be easy. Soothing. So, so sweet. He will bring the whole gingerbread house if you're anxious enough, to fatten you up. Eat more, he'll say. You're so thin. Eventually you'll eat so much you'll forget you're at the wrong table, and you'll fall asleep, snug as a bug in a rug and wake up- in the oven. That's right little one, where did you think this was going…? So this month, remember it's better to be hungry, anxious, stressed & pressured than cozy, comfy, bloated and asleep. If you're starving, take heart that the cook is preparing something wonderful just for you. Your big appetite and empty belly is a compliment to the chef. But if you're fat and full from tricky treats, God help you. You're being stuffed for a reason.
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 This month is gonna start off feeling kind of fucked up, ain't no way to sugar coat that, it just is what it is. For better or worse, we've asserted our own authority in our lives but unlike Queen B and the rest of Destiny's children, our independence doesn't come with a chorus of diamond rings.
A good friend told me freedom ain't free. This month we've got to pay the cost to be the boss...but high as the price may be, having pockets full of freedom is 9 out of 10 times better than a wallet stuffed from a most successful sale of our soul, no? However while we plod ever onward, head bowed with struggle, we will be pleasantly surprised to end up exactly where we wanted to be. Pleasantly surprised is actually an understatement...we shall be overjoyed! Amazed! Relieved! Blissed! Ecstatic! Well that sentence took a dramatic turn, which is exactly how we might describe this month. This will be the month where everything changes, and a switcheroo of this caliber will definitely herald (drum roll please) DRAMA. The good kind, though. The kind that brings happy tears and becomes our favorite story to tell. And now we have to talk about the other side of the coin. Remember when I said our hardship would be a result of asserting our own authority…? Remember when I said we had to pay the cost to be the boss…? Well the subtext of that text is that our actions have dethroned someone who perhaps felt the cost to remain the boss was too damn high. Bottom line, the crown we place upon our head, we took from another. The question becomes, did we steal the crown...or did we steal it BACK? Because royalty is always royalty whether they live in the castle or not. Plus we couldn't have paid to sit in the driver's seat if the bus wasn't for sale. The title is now rightfully ours. We earned it. We deserve it. Going forward, the only thing we won't be able to buy is confidence, because it will cost us everything to realize how priceless we truly are. But no matter how many people tell us we belong on the throne, the seat won't feel right until are self-assured of our own power. This month, regardless of how worthless we used to feel, we better own that shit. Werk.  If this week had a catch phrase, it would be "turnabout is fair play…" and now I gotta go Google that phrase because as many times as I've heard it, typing it out just now I realize I don't really know what it means.
But I know what I think it means. I think it means that the rules by which you win are sometimes the rules by which you lose...and vice versa...and that's fair. What isn't fair is to only want to play the game if it's rigged to our advantage. We are not invincible. Being willing to lose is a show of humanity, and proof that win OR lose, we respect the players and the game. An effective leader is not one who is perfect...a leader who tries to appear perfect only inspires jealousy and spite because they are a walking reminder of what their followers could never become. An effective leader is transparent about their flaws & vulnerabilities so their followers know that failure is not a hindrance to success. I'm not sure how this ventured into leadership...but I guess that's a message too. The best leaders don't know how they even got in that position because they were too busy doing their work to notice a crowd gather. Sort of like Forest Gump who just felt like running…but because he seemed to know where he was going, the lost followed his footsteps hoping he'd lead them to themselves. Except they didn't realize Forrest wasn't running to or from or for anything, except himself alone. This week, we can't run behind Forrest anymore, ‘cause Forrest wants to slow down and turn around...maybe take the scenic route and enjoy the view. The cool thing is that without Forrest leading the pack, those who keep going can go in any direction they want. Forrest is no longer the north star. And if we are Forrest in this scenario and we feel the people watching, expecting...we can't let their expectations make us afraid to reverse our steps and go the other way, no matter how far we've already gone. At this point, we're running (or resting...or sleeping...or speaking) for ourselves and no one else. For better or worse, we are finally free to blaze our own trail. Or not. ❤  Soooo...this week is literally about moving on. There are ways in which we committed ourselves to fighting a particular fight...but we were so deep in the fray we failed to realize the battle was already won. We may look up and see we slapped a few innocent bystanders who were only trying to ring the victory bell loud enough for us to hear it. That's the thing about war- collateral damage is always in hindsight. As we survey the rubble of our kingdom, it's time to decide what structures will...or won't be rebuilt.
Once we remove our armor, shower & settle down, a different sort of war begins. People may approach the throne expecting us to be who we were...but we have been rearranged in battle. For better or worse, we are different now. Whereas we used to wait until immediate danger to unsheath our sword, now it never leaves our hands. Hindsight may be 20/20 but foresight is x-ray vision. That's the benefit of destruction, actually. There is nothing left to hide behind. Who/whatever it is, we see it coming.  This week..and for the next few weeks, Mars is in Leo. In the tarot, Mars (the Tower Card) in Leo (the Strength card) is known as the 7 of wands. So even though the energy looks like we're simply maintaining our inner equilibrium by standing up for ourselves, it's going to feel like keeping a goddamn lion from freaking out while nearby a tower falls and burns.
Have any among us wrestled our own fear and anger...and won? Whomever didn't get that particular badge in the scouts, your opportunity is coming. Spoiler alert: you got this! But this isn't even about that. This week is about the soldier who's trying to sneak back on the battlefield after cussing out the captain because he/she realized "those losers" finna be winners after all. Now I'm not saying the defectors don't deserve what they got coming...just that we gotta put our weapons down before we engage. This is a battle-is-not-yours-it's-the-Lord's kind of situation so there's nothing we could do to them even if we tried. The boss wishes to deal with them directly. Plus the war was never with them. Their return is actually a good sign. It means with or without them...we won.  Y'all know issa lot going on this week right…? A new moon, the crescendo of the North node/ South node axis, a solar eclipse, annnnd Mercury is going retrograde. If we thought the first half of this year was a doozy, hang on tight cause we ain't seen nothing yet. Literally. We ain't SEEN nothing yet, but we FEEL everything all of the time, and the drastic difference between what we see & what we feel is driving us effing nutz. We've become complacent with cognitive dissonance because...what else are we supposed to do? But worry not, because this summer storm of the gods is dragging all the things we felt in the dark right out into the light. We finna finally have proof that we ain't now, nor have we ever been crazy. Whatever we've felt that will now be seen, might throw some of our relationships off balance. It was for this reason that the powers that be, in their infinite wisdom, kept the proof from us for so long. This week marks a definitive before & after, and while the "before" was perplexing, the "after" finna be a full out hot mess. But like a bloody birth that culminates in a slippery child, we 'gon be so happy to receive justice for all our pain, that the discomfort will become a distant memory. Also, we need to remember that sometimes the struggles we carry aren't ours alone, but our ancestors' too. And the same goes for blessings, when the struggle is done. If we've been given more burdens that we could carry (but we carried them anyway!), we finna get more heavenly love & appreciation than we know what to do with. We'll figure it out though. That's one thing we know how to do, is figure it out. ❤  This week is about movement, possibly at the last minute. We've been using our creativity & passionate fire in super stagnant ways...and like a little kid mad that mama has 50eleven folk to talk to after church, the universe is READY TO GO. Plus Mercury is already in its retrograde shadow so shit's finna start slowing down. You know those passive aggressive signs that say, "Lack of preparation on your part is not an emergency on mine…?" Its like that. Our metaphorical gas tank is on 'E' and we've got places to go and people to see...but nobody is offering gas money cus they saw us sit idle so long.
But fuck them and their gas money. Where we're going, we don't need roads. The universe is determined to move us along even if it has to use rocket fuel. When God powers our movements, cars become spaceships, ya dig? The explosion required to power this propulsion will feel very much like an emergency, but we gon' be so happy with the trajectory that instead of tightening our seat belts, we're gonna stick our fool head out the window and memorize the view. You remember that one Star Wars movie (I forget which one…) when Han'nem thought they landed right quick on a desolate planet but it was really the belly of a beast? This week, as we get lifted out of dodge, we gon' look back one last time and break into happy tears that 1) we getting the fuck on and 2) we never knew how bad was the shit we were stuck in till we saw it in the rearview mirrow. Truly, ignorance is bliss.  This week the devil might have a hold of our minds…there is a certain painful situation that our thoughts keep coming back to again and again and again...but...you know how if you take an ugly picture you can't get mad at the camera because it just records what it sees…?
It's like that. No matter what sort of filter we put on the matter, it's just ugly and it is what it is. And since hindsight is 20/20 and we're addicted to looking, we are seeing certain aspects so clearly that its as if we're seeing them for the first time. And it's um...horrifying…? Welp. All we can do is face forward and leave Medusa alone. If we need to take one last look, we shouldn't do so directly...we can just use a mirror to glance over our shoulder, lest we stumble and turn to stone. As soon as we gather the strength to leave our plagues behind, a whole new adventure will leap toward us. This new beginning is a palate cleanser, to help us get the taste of the big bad past out our mouths. I feel like this is the perfect place for a swallowing metaphor but dammit I'm trying to be better. Makes me think this week we might be a little down and dirty one more time. Just one more time.  This week heralds endings far and wide. Not everybody is gonna make the cut and that's just what it is. But there is nothing more cleansing than the complete obliteration that clears the way for life to begin again, sort of like a forest fire or a Brazilian wax. First the big chop, then the new growth… then watch how the wood sprouts up. LOL
Dirty jokes aside...whether or not we experienced death, we went through hell. Winston Churchill said "If you find yourself going through hell...keep going." Wise advice but common sense ain't common. They say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. They don't talk about what those who aren't tough do...tbh no one knows what they did because we ain't see them cus we...um...kept going. It's like when you go a big ass lecture class in college and the professor tells you to note the folks sitting to your left and your right...because one or both of them won't last until the semesters end. Some of them looked at you. Did you make it...or naw…? Whether you did or didn't, regardless of who you started this journey with, the only one who can help you now is the one by your side. If you look around and you don't see anyone... that's hell. Here's a tip: you can transform hell into heaven if you find your people. And here's a warning: you can transform heaven into hell if you lose your people. No matter where you are, find a hand and hold on tight. This week, we can survive any storm as long as we're together.  The bible says, "'In the last days...I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams." The spirit filled me so fully with joy and gratitude while I was shuffling the cards for this week's message that it took an effort to stop crying long enough to get the job done. Y'all. Something WONDERFUL is coming. Remember last week when I said we were getting tea instead of dirt water and it was finna be sweet…? Well apparently that wasn't a nicenasty sorta sweet, it was best birthday ever ugly cry sweet. This is a universe of balance, you know? If we are blessed enough to keep living, eventually we reach the other side of every single thing. We have been bruised, battered, abandoned, shattered, 'buked, scorned, wished some days we'd never been born. But like Thor said in Infinity War...it may kill us- but only if we die. We no ded. But we were badly hurt. And we wondered, wounded, what we'd done to deserve it all. We filed our faults, labeled ourselves fuckups, and worked hard to fix God's imperfect creation. God interrupts this dramatic self deception to remind us that being perfect was never the mission, and there is no such thing as "deserve," only balance and recalibration. Only choices and results. We didn't "deserve" all that awful and we won't "deserve" all this amazingness either. Our low self esteem made us work our asses off...and our choice to offer the best of ourselves is resulting in life choosing to offer the best of itself. The table is set, the food is hot, and after years of scrubbing, our hands are clean. It's time to eat. |
by Oubriaa monthly message, alchemized from the tarot cards, seasoned with intuition and life experience, served with love (sometimes with a side of spicy cussin) Archives
September 2019
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