here

---

Beloveds please forgive the monthly reading being late once again. I pulled the cards for the collective days ago, wrote a rough draft, & then was inundated with a series of mildly fortunate-disguised-as-frustrating events which prevented me from putting out the final copy, & then when I went to put the reading up, I realized the energy had shifted (full moon/ eclipse/ retrogrades, oh my...). So I pulled the cards again & the message was totally different, & (imo) better. 

I lowkey think that is the message.

Feel me- 

A minute back we asked the Most High for something. Even if we didn't ask for it out loud, the quiet longings of our heart yearned a prayer into the cosmos. Whatever it was we wanted was too fantastic to hope for, yet too wonderful not to dream, so we indulged ourselves a bit. If you're a kid & you want a pony but you know you're not going to get a pony, there's no harm in letting your imagination run away with you a bit, yeah? Might as well ask for two ponies... better yet, a unicorn family with rainbow hooves... better yet, the unicorn family is the starring act in a travelling circus, complete with games (where we always win the prizes), unlimited rides on the Ferris wheel, laser tag, bottomless cotton candy, & free nachos for all. Since there's not a risk of  fantasy becoming reality, we might as well dream big, if for no other reason than it makes the hours go by.

You know what else makes the hours go by...? Adulting. Details. A thousand tiny disappointments piling like sticks. Distractions. Sleep. Resignation. Working hard & then working harder. The sudden shock of results. The slow growth of patience. The realization that the meantime is the only time there is. Acceptance. Lemonade. Laundry. Grace. 

Sidenote: Y'all know I love my movie metaphors. Have y'all ever seen the movie "Practical Magic...?" Among other things, its about a woman-who-when-she-was-a-girl, decided she never wanted to fall in love. To make sure of it, she wished for an impossible partner: someone who could hear her call from miles away, with one green eye & one blue. She figured if she gave her soul to someone she'd never meet, then her heart could never be broken. Then she grew up & married a perfectly nice, brown eyed man, & that man died. The woman grew very depressed, &  threw herself into her work & her children to keep her head above the wave of sadness that threatened constantly to drown. And then wonder of wonders, through a series of mildly-fortunate-disguised-as-terrible events, the blue eyed/ green eyed man she'd wished for arrived perplexed on her doorstep. 

Have you ever heard the Rumi quote, "What you are seeking is also seeking you...?" 

In the month of July, against all odds, we may hear faintly carousel music in the wind, or whiff the scent of freshly roasted peanuts. There could also be a series of inexplicable rainbow hoof imprints rumored through the town. Despite the joy threatening our bellies, skepticism will be our most natural response.

Be that as it may, a self-conscious circus master (people tend to stare at his eyes) is searching high & low for a spot to graze his ponies, & the empty field next door to our quaint little house is the best spot for miles around. We might want to pluck some lemons off our tree & make a tall pitcher of cool drink, since he's hot & thirsty & headed this way.

Imagine that. ​