savor

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The bible says,
"'In the last days...I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams."
The spirit filled me so fully with joy and gratitude while I was shuffling the cards for this week's message that it took an effort to stop crying long enough to get the job done.

Y'all. Something WONDERFUL is coming. Remember last week when I said we were getting tea instead of dirt water and it was finna be sweet…? Well apparently that wasn't a nicenasty sorta sweet, it was best birthday ever ugly cry sweet.

This is a universe of balance, you know? If we are blessed enough to keep living, eventually we reach the other side of every single thing. We have been bruised, battered, abandoned, shattered, 'buked, scorned, wished some days we'd never been born. But like Thor said in Infinity War...it may kill us- but only if we die.

We no ded.

But we were badly hurt. And we wondered, wounded, what we'd done to deserve it all. We filed our faults, labeled ourselves fuckups, and worked hard to fix God's imperfect creation.

God interrupts this dramatic self deception to remind us that being perfect was never the mission, and there is no such thing as "deserve," only balance and recalibration. Only choices and results. We didn't "deserve" all that awful and we won't "deserve" all this amazingness either.

Our low self esteem made us work our asses off...and our choice to offer the best of ourselves is resulting in life choosing to offer the best of itself.
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The table is set, the food is hot, and after years of scrubbing, our hands are clean.
It's time to eat.