(IN STOCK - PDF DOWNLOAD, 142 pages $11) Written by Oubria Tronshaw, Illustrated by Julia Goolsby; Full color PDF for immediate download; simply explains the tarot system using a story-book format; features characters from the Melanated Classic Tarot; details the heavenly bodies & their effects on our daily lives; includes full-sized pictures & quick reference meanings of each card; uses a relatable storyline that brings clarity & unity to those who think religion (the holy bible) & spirituality (the esoteric tarot) are incompatible; teaches the meanings & co-relations of the Major & Minor Arcana tarot cards, explains how to read tarot & identify complimentary biblical principles whether novice, student or expert (makes a great teaching tool!).
monthly reading May 2020
Y'all gon have to forgive me for posting this message three days late, but figuring out what the Most High was trying to tell me was like separating insect legs from a spider web. It was delicate, messy & took a little bit of time, but I finally got it together. In fact I think that is the overall message for the next 30 days- that despite how crazy & complicated shit may look, we will FINALLY get it together.
But first we gotta figure out what's taking so long.
Disclaimer: This reading is going to include an extended analysis of the movie Boomerang with Eddie Murphy & Halle Berry so if you haven't seen it, go watch it & then come back for the message.
Now then: Y'all remember Marcus Graham (played by Eddie Murphy), yes...? He was the man every man wanted to be & the man *most* women wanted to be with. He was handsome, educated, cultured, funny, charismatic, with a strong work ethic, a good job, his own place & great friends.
As the movie opens, we see him pretend to lose his pretend dog "Kirby" so that a beautiful woman (played by the lovely Lela Rochon) will take pity on him & agree to a date.
*Record scratch* Whyyyyy does a man as fine & accomplished as Marcus Graham need to scheme to get p***y?! Can't he just... introduce himself & ask a woman out? Idk, make it make sense.
We know that Marcus is brilliant, fine, talented & accomplished, yes...? That is the objective truth. Yet as wealthy as he is (because true wealth is more than money), he makes really poor, broke, basic ass choices. Instead of being an honorable dude, he chooses to lie, scheme, manipulate, use & discard women. And as a result, he himself is lied to, schemed on, manipulated, used & discarded.
But by the end of the movie, big bad Marcus has learned his lesson. He has been humbled & awakened by true love & he promises to never, ever be a jerk face again. He has gotten a "taste of his own medicine," & he & Angela (Halle Berry) walk off hand in hand into the sunset & the credits roll, the end.
Ok but I bet you five dollars that Marcus will figure out a way to eff up his new start with Angela unless he gets to the root of his poor choices. Because if you get a taste of your own medicine, doesn't that mean you got a taste of the tactics you use to manage your sickness...? Ok but why are we focused on the medicine & not the sickness...? What was it about Marcus's upbringing, childhood trauma, jacked up examples of toxic masculinity & femininity, etc. that made him believe that ANY of his choices during the movie were even halfway ok, from lying to get sex, to humping Lady Eloise (Eartha Kitt) for a promotion, to seducing his boss, to sleeping with his best friend's girl, to cheating on someone who actually loved him with a weaved up thot who didn't gaf. Why was he bored by the love of a good woman, & excited by the attention of a broad who could care less? Because without searching for that true truth- without sipping that real tea, without a conscious understanding of his unconscious choices, Marcus is doomed to repeat these same toxic cycles & poor choices until...shit, until.
And as for Ms. Angela- she needs to figure out why she was so hungry for attention & affection that being sloppy seconds was as acceptable as being fresh firsts. Why was it ok for Marcus to FINALLY see her as a viable option, only after she had listened to all his problems, tried endlessly to cheer him up, used her creativity to save his job, AND helped him wash all those damn dishes after Thanksgiving dinner? What the hell happened in her formative years that made her happy with receiving the bare minimum while doing the absolute most...? And why after raising her standards personally & professionally was Marcus able to get back in her good graces with a damn speech about breathing instead of any real action or proof on his part that he had finally found some act right...?
And while on the subject of disrespect, why would Gerard (David Alan Grier) take Marcus back as a friend after what he did?? Must be that Gerard was used to putting his emotions aside for the sake his nearest & dearest who (like his parents) apparently have no impulse control. Bam! Bam! Bam!
Pretty much everybody in this movie with a story line was pining for the love & attention of someone who could care less about their feelings, which is an issue likely rooted in their childhood. Jacqueline didn't give a fuck so Marcus wanted her, Marcus wasn't paying Angela no mind so she wanted him. Then once Angela turned cold on Marcus, he realized she was the one he wanted all along. So Angela...won...? Her & Marcus are...in love now...? Ok.
So what is this "love" that Angela & Marcus have won? Because imho, it ain't love, issa habit. Issa addiction. He's addicted to wanting what he can't have (overcompensating due to hidden insecurities) & she's addicted to having what she shouldn't want (accepting bullshit due to low self worth). Both of these addictions likely grabbed hold before either Marcus or Angela were aware of them & they will continue to play out until one or both of them gets sick and tired of being sick & tired & get off the the merry go round to go figure out their shit ALONE.
Over the next 30 days (& beyond tbh) we may all receive a visit from the Marcus' in our lives- folks who suddenly realize how much they love & miss us, conveniently timed with the moment we've stopped giving a damn. Or maybe we are the Marcus in this scenario.
Either way, whether we are returning or being returned to, it's important to come to the conversation with a clear understanding of what happened to make the relationship fall apart in the first place. Here's the rub though- if, in your opinion, the reason why things fell apart has anything to do with the other person, you're doing it wrong. We must realize that nine out of ten times, the way we treat others & the way we allow others to treat us has nothing to do with the people we're dealing with & everything to do with the way the folks who raised us dealt with us. In other words, the fruit begins at the ROOT.
And if you analyze the root & recognize the tree is rotten & accept the fruit is dead...but you can't help but have a taste for it...
Your resistance will create a new seed, which will sprout a new root, which will grow a new fruit, which you must remember to feed yourself FIRST. It won't taste like anything you've ever experienced, & that is a good thing.
There's a bible story about a widow who owed a serious debt to a creditor. The debt wasn't even hers initially, it was her husband's, but once he died it became her responsibility. She was freaking out because the creditor told her if she didn't pay up, he would force her two sons to be his slaves. Sis was sick about the whole thing so she asked the prophet Elisha for help. Elisha asked her, "What do you have in the house?" & she told him that all she had was a jar of oil. He told her to go around & get as many empty jars as she could from her neighbors, & then go in the house with her sons, shut the door, pour her oil into the jars, & set each one aside once it became full. So she did. Once inside, her sons brought the jars one by one, & she filled them one by one. Once there were no more jars, there was no more oil. She told Elisha about it & he instructed her to sell the jars of oil to pay what she owed, & to live on the rest of the money with her sons. Issa miracle, yeah...?
People argue about whether or not the bible is literal & perhaps it is- but there is definitely a metaphor here I wanted to explain because once I figured it out, it really helped me, & maybe it might help you too.
The first thing to understand is that the widow isn't really a widow; she represents the subconscious mind. She is the part of us that knows from birth that we have a purpose to fulfill, & her sole mission is to make it happen, cap'n. The thing is, she can't do it alone- she needs her husband. The husband in this story represents the conscious mind. He is the part of us who makes the decisions & enacts the choices that determine our fate, regardless of the original plan. In a perfect world, our darkness (feminine) & light (masculine) are a perfect couple; she receives the dream & he puts in the work to make that dream a reality. But we don't live in a perfect world. Our subconscious might be holding the map in the backseat but at the end of the day our consciousness can drive wherever it wants.
The premise of the story is basically the worst case scenario between the feminine & masculine principle. The feminine principle knows there is a job to be done, but her husband- instead of working to fulfill their united purpose- somehow ends up in debt owing his energy & time toward another man's purpose. And then he dies, still owing, because what you don't use, you lose. The husband represents our ability to do what we know we are meant to do, & the fact that if we don't do it, after a time we will look up & realize we couldn't do it if we wanted to because sadly, that part of us is dead & gone. This is why the widowed subconscious mourns, because the boundless potential within her still desires to burst forth, & it wrings its hands & worries about how in the world it will live, especially without a partner, without action, without decision, without hope. Her husband has left her alone, & also quite literally, a loan. Therefore now she owes the debt too, herself, which is the bible's way of saying she owes it to herself.
We do owe it to ourselves to live up to our fullest potential, against all odds. Even if a part of us is dead & gone & time has passed & shit looks bleak, we better figure out a way, for the sake of our sons. Remember, the creditor in the story said if the widow doesn't pay up, her sons must fulfill the debt through slavery. In the tarot, the Sun card, aka the Son card, represents the light of a person who has fought through hell and back in order to know themselves as fearless, victorious, glorious, shining. The widow's sons requirement to enter a slave contract to fulfill the death debt of their father is a metaphor for believing yourself doomed to fulfill another man's purpose because of inheriting a deficit of currency. If we let currency represent time (because time IS money), then slavery is the lack of time & opportunity to realize our true potential, because we are born owing that time elsewhere. It's true that we are more often than not born into cycles of doing what has always been done, & although the decisions that created this dynamic are dead & gone, the debt, our unused potential & slave mentality remains. This is why the widow begs for instruction on how to break the chains & release the debt. This is why even when all seems lost, our subconscious mind won't let us rest, because regardless of our circumstances, it refuses to identify its glorious depths as hopeless, futile & perpetually unfulfilled. Not today, the widow says, & not tomorrow either.
What do you have in the house? Elisha asks. The widow answers, nothing except a jar of oil.
In the bible, oil represents many things but most commonly, it represents anointing, or authority from the Most High to act within our divine purpose. The house represents the body. So the widow, who, again is our subconscious mind - despite our poor, debt-filled choices & dead ends, still holds within our body the instruction from our creator to live up to our fullest potential. Period.
Go around & get empty jars from your neighbors, Elisha says. Get as many as you can.
If the oil is the anointing on our lives, then the jars are the containers for that anointing. If the oil is a purpose that must be fulfilled, then the jars represent situations through which someone else's purpose has already been fulfilled. By instructing the widow to collect as many empty jars as possible from her neighbors, the subconscious mind is told to do the only thing it CAN do- seek as many stories as possible from those have used their anointing in situations that fulfilled their divine purpose. In other words, if you don't know you finna do a thing, gather as many folks as possible who can tell you how they did that thing already. Gather you some success stories & miraculous testimonies & motivational tales. Elisha told the widow to gather these jars from her neighbors. A neighbor is someone in close proximity to you- but truthfully few of us have any one close to us who has already done the thing God has called us to do. Oh, but what a mighty friend we have in YouTube, because with only a touch of our screen, we can be surrounded by stories of those who came before us & made the impossible, possible. We can listen to Jim Carrey talk to Oprah about the million dollar check he wrote himself & kept in his wallet years before he landed his first major film role, or we can listen to Sylvester Stallone discuss being rejected from a thousand auditions & having to sell his dog to pay his light bill while we wrote the script for Rocky, because it was obvious that the only movie he'd be allowed to star in is the one he wrote himself. We can sit as Mama Iyanla tells her how she had to change the locks on her violent husband & then the stab him through the chain on the door after he got it open anyway, because she wasn't gon' let him beat her ass not one more time. Even if there is not a single person around who believes in you, respects your vision or understands that your purpose just won't leave you alone, go get your damn jars.
As many as you can. And once you gather up all the testimonies of those who have fulfilled their purpose, which you now owe it to yourself to fulfill, according to the story, you must go into the house with your sons, shut the door & fill those empty jars. If we understand that the house represents the body, & the door is the place through which the your subconscious mind (widow) & realization of your true potential (sons) go in & out, then we understand the door is our mouth. In other words, when its time to fulfill your anointing, you must go inside yourself, shut your damn mouth & just DO YOUR WORK. (Why is the bible so shady tho lol)
And what is that work, exactly...? In the story, the sons brings the widow the empty jars one by one, & she fills each jar from her one jar of oil. Following the metaphor, this means that inside your mind- in silence, you go about the task of 1) recognizing that you have a divine purpose (son), 2) using that awareness to feed your subconscious mind (widow) examples of those who have filled their purpose ( empty jars) in order to 3) pour your little bit of oil into each one of those examples, one by one. If anointing is divine authority to act, then the filling of each jar is giving yourself permission, bit by bit, to become the same as the person in each testimony, aka a freaking miracle. The very act of focusing on their divinity ignites your own. Which basically means the hardest work of fulfilling your purpose & realizing your infinite potential is having faith that you CAN through believing all them other folks already DID. Once you do that, the rest is lowkey easy.
And Elisha said, go forth and sell the oil, & pay what you owe, & you and your sons live off the rest.
So what does it mean to sell the jars of oil...? It means you go out & exchange you newfound abundance of faith in yourself for currency, which is time. It means you now have more than enough time to fulfill your purpose because you believe you do. It means that from now on, you will always have enough faith in yourself for the current moment. It means that you have sufficient faith in miracles, because you finally realize the miracle is YOU. Whereas you were worried about being indebted to the service of someone else's vision & purpose, now you know you have the means & opportunity to execute your own.
And when, in some not-too-distant future, you see someone struggling to pay what they owe themselves because their potential has been widowed by poor choices, you give them your empty jar.
Tell them, I know you CAN, because I DID.
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"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." ~ Philippians 4:6