Welcome to Gemini season, AKA Twin season, AKA the turning point. In the tarot, the sign of Gemini is represented by the Lovers card. This energy deals with feeling lost & vulnerable, being authentic, facing our fears & themes of trust (issues). These emotions are necessary in order to feel (& think!) our way towards the people, places & things that guide us home to ourselves, & away from the people, places & things that we've come to realize (after trial & error) are no place like home. The reason why the Lovers have their eyes closed is because you won't know your squad (nor they, you) by appearances. The path lies somewhere between what feels right & what makes sense, but as far as looks go, they can be deceiving af.
Perhaps you've noticed this figure-it-out-yourself energy has been lingering all year...? That's because the North Node moved into Gemini in May 2020, & there it will remain until January 2022. With the North node in Gemini, that puts the South Node in Sagittarius.
The North Node/South Node axis deals with destiny vs. past lives. With the South Node in Sagittarius, we have spent too many cycles tolerating the intolerable, making do & suffering through. The North Node in Gemini is a patient yet persistent reminder that we were not created to suffer. Difficulty is a sign that something is not working, yes? Instead of butting our heads against dead ends, we are meant to take the hint, turn around & find a better way. Persistence almost always leads to progress (but only if we're facing the right direction). The first step to finding our way is admitting we're lost. Only when we say, I don't know, I have no idea- can the answers we seek find US.
Perhaps you've noticed this figure-it-out-yourself energy has been lingering all year...? That's because the North Node moved into Gemini in May 2020, & there it will remain until January 2022. With the North node in Gemini, that puts the South Node in Sagittarius.
The North Node/South Node axis deals with destiny vs. past lives. With the South Node in Sagittarius, we have spent too many cycles tolerating the intolerable, making do & suffering through. The North Node in Gemini is a patient yet persistent reminder that we were not created to suffer. Difficulty is a sign that something is not working, yes? Instead of butting our heads against dead ends, we are meant to take the hint, turn around & find a better way. Persistence almost always leads to progress (but only if we're facing the right direction). The first step to finding our way is admitting we're lost. Only when we say, I don't know, I have no idea- can the answers we seek find US.
Life is Hard / You're Doing Great (Self-Love Letter)
$21.00
Do y'all remember getting letters in the mail? I don't mean bills or checks, I mean real letters- that smell like flowers or cologne or perfume, & make you settle in with your feet tucked under a blanket, to savor all the goodness somebody poured on the page for you. Can I send you a love letter? Over the years when I feel down, I've practiced the art of intuiting love letters from my higher/future self to my lower/current self, about how proud I am of myself, & about how much I've contributed to my own journey, & how future me wouldn't be where they are if not for current me dealing with the shits. It's a cool way to see yourself from a larger, wider, higher, more loving, respectful, cherished perspective. If you'd like your own personal channeled love letter from You to You, order here. I will type it up, make it smell lovely & put it in the mail. (Ten Day Delivery, $21, Free Shipping)
Never, Ever, Ever: Twin Flame Closure Letter
$22.00
Gemini AKA Lovers season also reps the energy of Twin Freaking Flames. If you are a real twin flame, then you know why I refer to it like Dirty Diana. For many of us, the Union-That-Didn't-Unite is what kicked off our spiritual journey, our interest in tarot, & an inner strength we wouldn't have discovered otherwise. Regardless of how it turned out, we wouldn't be who we are or where we are without that certain person & the wounds they taught us to heal ourselves. Most likely the chapter closed but was there... closure? Most likely not. Most likely you'll have to get your own damn closure. Would you like a channeled Twin Flame Closure Letter? I do those too. Order here. (Ten Day Delivery, $22, Free Shipping)
Nothing But The Rent: Show Me the Money (Tarot Reading)
$33.00
Many of us are at a crossroads, spiritually, emotionally & financially. We don't want to do what we've been trained to do, but folks don't pay us enough to do what we love. Ugh. Would you like a tarot reading on how to get more money without driving yourself crazy, because being broke already makes you feel crazy? Order here. (3-5 days for delivery; video recording; $33)
excerpt from my auto-bio-graph-oracle
d.i.c.k.
(1. Private Dick)
I can't remember when or how I discovered the squeeze meat between a man's legs was called a dick, but I definitely knew about dick before I knew it was dick. My big sister & her boyfriend used to do "it" after school on my mama's bed & I planted myself at the keyhole intent on seeing his "thing." It was boring as hell watching them roll around, a tumbleweed of sheets & booty; but suddenly they untangled, he sat up & there it was. I was so shocked I shut my eyes to see what I saw (banana? worm?) & when I opened them again it was gone & he was back under the covers. When mama came home I wanted to tell her so bad, I saw his thing, I saw his thing, but I knew that afternoons spent peeking for dick are a secret pastime.
Not that my sister made it a habit of being with boys in our mama's bed, but since she & I shared a room, she couldn't do it in there. We had two twin beds, each with a built in shelf for story books (me), & Archie comics (her). She liked to sleep in pitch black darkness but I begged Mama to leave the closet light on, or at least keep the door cracked for a slice of hallway glow. Sister compromised by keeping the door shut tight, with the TV on low. We also had a VCR in our room, & that's how, one day while the door was closed, my sister slipped in a porno tape & I saw a dick for real, a white man's dick at that. He lay on a bed, his back propped up with pillows, naked except for a wide open purple robe. His thing stood straight up like a skyscraper & I turned my head at a 90 degree angle struggling to understand the mechanics of poseable flesh. It seemed to me that the thing should bend & yet it did not bend. She shut it off after a quick moment but decades later I still see what I saw. I remember the look on his face too, proud as a cat with a mouse in its teeth, like he wanted someone to pet him & put tuna in his bowl, good dick, nice dick, purr dick, purr.
And then as the story goes, there was a series of VERY BAD THINGS, starting with the death of my sister's father (in my mama's bed to boot) which led to my sister swallowing a bottle of pills. One night I woke up to her being carried away from our room on a stretcher, & after the charcoal stomach pump & doctor's nods, mama sent her away for awhile. For six months she lived in a place with white walls & signs everywhere telling folks to QUIET PLEASE. I visited exactly once.
On this singular visit I couldn't wait to tell her about Larry's butt. Larry was the maintenance man in our apartment building that mama met in the hallway...(to be cont'd)
I can't remember when or how I discovered the squeeze meat between a man's legs was called a dick, but I definitely knew about dick before I knew it was dick. My big sister & her boyfriend used to do "it" after school on my mama's bed & I planted myself at the keyhole intent on seeing his "thing." It was boring as hell watching them roll around, a tumbleweed of sheets & booty; but suddenly they untangled, he sat up & there it was. I was so shocked I shut my eyes to see what I saw (banana? worm?) & when I opened them again it was gone & he was back under the covers. When mama came home I wanted to tell her so bad, I saw his thing, I saw his thing, but I knew that afternoons spent peeking for dick are a secret pastime.
Not that my sister made it a habit of being with boys in our mama's bed, but since she & I shared a room, she couldn't do it in there. We had two twin beds, each with a built in shelf for story books (me), & Archie comics (her). She liked to sleep in pitch black darkness but I begged Mama to leave the closet light on, or at least keep the door cracked for a slice of hallway glow. Sister compromised by keeping the door shut tight, with the TV on low. We also had a VCR in our room, & that's how, one day while the door was closed, my sister slipped in a porno tape & I saw a dick for real, a white man's dick at that. He lay on a bed, his back propped up with pillows, naked except for a wide open purple robe. His thing stood straight up like a skyscraper & I turned my head at a 90 degree angle struggling to understand the mechanics of poseable flesh. It seemed to me that the thing should bend & yet it did not bend. She shut it off after a quick moment but decades later I still see what I saw. I remember the look on his face too, proud as a cat with a mouse in its teeth, like he wanted someone to pet him & put tuna in his bowl, good dick, nice dick, purr dick, purr.
And then as the story goes, there was a series of VERY BAD THINGS, starting with the death of my sister's father (in my mama's bed to boot) which led to my sister swallowing a bottle of pills. One night I woke up to her being carried away from our room on a stretcher, & after the charcoal stomach pump & doctor's nods, mama sent her away for awhile. For six months she lived in a place with white walls & signs everywhere telling folks to QUIET PLEASE. I visited exactly once.
On this singular visit I couldn't wait to tell her about Larry's butt. Larry was the maintenance man in our apartment building that mama met in the hallway...(to be cont'd)
(Click the tip jar to make an $11 love offering)
read this if God has a plan for your life
The Widow & The Jar of Oil
by
Oubria Tronshaw
There's a bible story about a widow who owed a serious debt to a creditor. The debt wasn't even hers initially, it was her husband's, but once he died it became her responsibility. She was freaking out because the creditor told her if she didn't pay up, he would force her two sons to be his slaves. Sis was sick about the whole thing so she asked the prophet Elisha for help. Elisha asked her, "What do you have in the house?" & she told him that all she had was a jar of oil. He told her to go around & get as many empty jars as she could from her neighbors, & then go in the house with her sons, shut the door, pour her oil into the jars, & set each one aside once it became full. So she did. Once inside, her sons brought the jars one by one, & she filled them one by one. Once there were no more jars, there was no more oil. She told Elisha about it & he instructed her to sell the jars of oil to pay what she owed, & to live on the rest of the money with her sons. Issa miracle, yeah...?
People argue about whether or not the bible is literal & perhaps it is- but there is definitely a metaphor here I wanted to explain because once I figured it out, it really helped me, & maybe it might help you too.
The first thing to understand is that the widow isn't really a widow; she represents the subconscious mind. She is the part of us that knows from birth that we have a purpose to fulfill, & her sole mission is to make it happen, cap'n. The thing is, she can't do it alone- she needs her husband. The husband in this story represents the conscious mind. He is the part of us who makes the decisions & enacts the choices that determine our fate, regardless of the original plan. In a perfect world, our darkness (feminine) & light (masculine) are a perfect couple; she receives the dream & he puts in the work to make that dream a reality. But we don't live in a perfect world. Our subconscious might be holding the map in the backseat but at the end of the day our consciousness can drive wherever it wants.
The premise of the story is basically the worst case scenario between the feminine & masculine principle. The feminine principle knows there is a job to be done, but her husband- instead of working to fulfill their united purpose- somehow ends up in debt owing his energy & time toward another man's purpose. And then he dies, still owing, because what you don't use, you lose. The husband represents our ability to do what we know we are meant to do, & the fact that if we don't do it, after a time we will look up & realize we couldn't do it if we wanted to because sadly, that part of us is dead & gone. This is why the widowed subconscious mourns, because the boundless potential within her still desires to burst forth, & it wrings its hands & worries about how in the world it will live, especially without a partner, without action, without decision, without hope. Her husband has left her alone, & also quite literally, a loan. Therefore now she owes the debt too, herself, which is the bible's way of saying she owes it to herself.
We do owe it to ourselves to live up to our fullest potential, against all odds. Even if a part of us is dead & gone & time has passed & shit looks bleak, we better figure out a way, for the sake of our sons. Remember, the creditor in the story said if the widow doesn't pay up, her sons must fulfill the debt through slavery. In the tarot, the Sun card, aka the Son card, represents the light of a person who has fought through hell and back in order to know themselves as fearless, victorious, glorious, shining. The widow's sons requirement to enter a slave contract to fulfill the death debt of their father is a metaphor for believing yourself doomed to fulfill another man's purpose because of inheriting a deficit of currency. If we let currency represent time (because time IS money), then slavery is the lack of time & opportunity to realize our true potential, because we are born owing that time elsewhere. It's true that we are more often than not born into cycles of doing what has always been done, & although the decisions that created this dynamic are dead & gone, the debt, our unused potential & slave mentality remains. This is why the widow begs for instruction on how to break the chains & release the debt. This is why even when all seems lost, our subconscious mind won't let us rest, because regardless of our circumstances, it refuses to identify its glorious depths as hopeless, futile & perpetually unfulfilled. Not today, the widow says, & not tomorrow either.
What do you have in the house? Elisha asks. The widow answers, nothing except a jar of oil.
In the bible, oil represents many things but most commonly, it represents anointing, or authority from the Most High to act within our divine purpose. The house represents the body. So the widow, who, again is our subconscious mind - despite our poor, debt-filled choices & dead ends, still holds within our body the instruction from our creator to live up to our fullest potential. Period.
Go around & get empty jars from your neighbors, Elisha says. Get as many as you can.
If the oil is the anointing on our lives, then the jars are the containers for that anointing. If the oil is a purpose that must be fulfilled, then the jars represent situations through which someone else's purpose has already been fulfilled. By instructing the widow to collect as many empty jars as possible from her neighbors, the subconscious mind is told to do the only thing it CAN do- seek as many stories as possible from those have used their anointing in situations that fulfilled their divine purpose. In other words, if you don't know you finna do a thing, gather as many folks as possible who can tell you how they did that thing already. Gather you some success stories & miraculous testimonies & motivational tales. Elisha told the widow to gather these jars from her neighbors. A neighbor is someone in close proximity to you- but truthfully few of us have any one close to us who has already done the thing God has called us to do. Oh, but what a mighty friend we have in YouTube, because with only a touch of our screen, we can be surrounded by stories of those who came before us & made the impossible, possible. We can listen to Jim Carrey talk to Oprah about the million dollar check he wrote himself & kept in his wallet years before he landed his first major film role, or we can listen to Sylvester Stallone discuss being rejected from a thousand auditions & having to sell his dog to pay his light bill while we wrote the script for Rocky, because it was obvious that the only movie he'd be allowed to star in is the one he wrote himself. We can sit as Mama Iyanla tells her how she had to change the locks on her violent husband & then the stab him through the chain on the door after he got it open anyway, because she wasn't gon' let him beat her ass not one more time. Even if there is not a single person around who believes in you, respects your vision or understands that your purpose just won't leave you alone, go get your damn jars.
As many as you can.
And once you gather up all the testimonies of those who have fulfilled their purpose, which you now owe it to yourself to fulfill, according to the story, you must go into the house with your sons, shut the door & fill those empty jars. If we understand that the house represents the body, & the door is the place through which the your subconscious mind (widow) & realization of your true potential (sons) go in & out, then we understand the door is our mouth. In other words, when its time to fulfill your anointing, you must go inside yourself, shut your damn mouth & just DO YOUR WORK. (Why is the bible so shady tho lol)
And what is that work, exactly...? In the story, the sons brings the widow the empty jars one by one, & she fills each jar from her one jar of oil. Following the metaphor, this means that inside your mind- in silence, you go about the task of 1) recognizing that you have a divine purpose (son), 2) using that awareness to feed your subconscious mind (widow) examples of those who have filled their purpose ( empty jars) in order to 3) pour your little bit of oil into each one of those examples, one by one. If anointing is divine authority to act, then the filling of each jar is giving yourself permission, bit by bit, to become the same as the person in each testimony, aka a freaking miracle. The very act of focusing on their divinity ignites your own. Which basically means the hardest work of fulfilling your purpose & realizing your infinite potential is having faith that you CAN through believing all them other folks already DID. Once you do that, the rest is lowkey easy.
And Elisha said, go forth and sell the oil, & pay what you owe, & you and your sons live off the rest.
So what does it mean to sell the jars of oil...? It means you go out & exchange you newfound abundance of faith in yourself for currency, which is time. It means you now have more than enough time to fulfill your purpose because you believe you do. It means that from now on, you will always have enough faith in yourself for the current moment. It means that you have sufficient faith in miracles, because you finally realize the miracle is YOU. Whereas you were worried about being indebted to the service of someone else's vision & purpose, now you know you have the means & opportunity to execute your own.
And when, in some not-too-distant future, you see someone struggling to pay what they owe themselves because their potential has been widowed by poor choices, you give them your empty jar.
Tell them, I know you CAN, because I DID.
Period.
by
Oubria Tronshaw
There's a bible story about a widow who owed a serious debt to a creditor. The debt wasn't even hers initially, it was her husband's, but once he died it became her responsibility. She was freaking out because the creditor told her if she didn't pay up, he would force her two sons to be his slaves. Sis was sick about the whole thing so she asked the prophet Elisha for help. Elisha asked her, "What do you have in the house?" & she told him that all she had was a jar of oil. He told her to go around & get as many empty jars as she could from her neighbors, & then go in the house with her sons, shut the door, pour her oil into the jars, & set each one aside once it became full. So she did. Once inside, her sons brought the jars one by one, & she filled them one by one. Once there were no more jars, there was no more oil. She told Elisha about it & he instructed her to sell the jars of oil to pay what she owed, & to live on the rest of the money with her sons. Issa miracle, yeah...?
People argue about whether or not the bible is literal & perhaps it is- but there is definitely a metaphor here I wanted to explain because once I figured it out, it really helped me, & maybe it might help you too.
The first thing to understand is that the widow isn't really a widow; she represents the subconscious mind. She is the part of us that knows from birth that we have a purpose to fulfill, & her sole mission is to make it happen, cap'n. The thing is, she can't do it alone- she needs her husband. The husband in this story represents the conscious mind. He is the part of us who makes the decisions & enacts the choices that determine our fate, regardless of the original plan. In a perfect world, our darkness (feminine) & light (masculine) are a perfect couple; she receives the dream & he puts in the work to make that dream a reality. But we don't live in a perfect world. Our subconscious might be holding the map in the backseat but at the end of the day our consciousness can drive wherever it wants.
The premise of the story is basically the worst case scenario between the feminine & masculine principle. The feminine principle knows there is a job to be done, but her husband- instead of working to fulfill their united purpose- somehow ends up in debt owing his energy & time toward another man's purpose. And then he dies, still owing, because what you don't use, you lose. The husband represents our ability to do what we know we are meant to do, & the fact that if we don't do it, after a time we will look up & realize we couldn't do it if we wanted to because sadly, that part of us is dead & gone. This is why the widowed subconscious mourns, because the boundless potential within her still desires to burst forth, & it wrings its hands & worries about how in the world it will live, especially without a partner, without action, without decision, without hope. Her husband has left her alone, & also quite literally, a loan. Therefore now she owes the debt too, herself, which is the bible's way of saying she owes it to herself.
We do owe it to ourselves to live up to our fullest potential, against all odds. Even if a part of us is dead & gone & time has passed & shit looks bleak, we better figure out a way, for the sake of our sons. Remember, the creditor in the story said if the widow doesn't pay up, her sons must fulfill the debt through slavery. In the tarot, the Sun card, aka the Son card, represents the light of a person who has fought through hell and back in order to know themselves as fearless, victorious, glorious, shining. The widow's sons requirement to enter a slave contract to fulfill the death debt of their father is a metaphor for believing yourself doomed to fulfill another man's purpose because of inheriting a deficit of currency. If we let currency represent time (because time IS money), then slavery is the lack of time & opportunity to realize our true potential, because we are born owing that time elsewhere. It's true that we are more often than not born into cycles of doing what has always been done, & although the decisions that created this dynamic are dead & gone, the debt, our unused potential & slave mentality remains. This is why the widow begs for instruction on how to break the chains & release the debt. This is why even when all seems lost, our subconscious mind won't let us rest, because regardless of our circumstances, it refuses to identify its glorious depths as hopeless, futile & perpetually unfulfilled. Not today, the widow says, & not tomorrow either.
What do you have in the house? Elisha asks. The widow answers, nothing except a jar of oil.
In the bible, oil represents many things but most commonly, it represents anointing, or authority from the Most High to act within our divine purpose. The house represents the body. So the widow, who, again is our subconscious mind - despite our poor, debt-filled choices & dead ends, still holds within our body the instruction from our creator to live up to our fullest potential. Period.
Go around & get empty jars from your neighbors, Elisha says. Get as many as you can.
If the oil is the anointing on our lives, then the jars are the containers for that anointing. If the oil is a purpose that must be fulfilled, then the jars represent situations through which someone else's purpose has already been fulfilled. By instructing the widow to collect as many empty jars as possible from her neighbors, the subconscious mind is told to do the only thing it CAN do- seek as many stories as possible from those have used their anointing in situations that fulfilled their divine purpose. In other words, if you don't know you finna do a thing, gather as many folks as possible who can tell you how they did that thing already. Gather you some success stories & miraculous testimonies & motivational tales. Elisha told the widow to gather these jars from her neighbors. A neighbor is someone in close proximity to you- but truthfully few of us have any one close to us who has already done the thing God has called us to do. Oh, but what a mighty friend we have in YouTube, because with only a touch of our screen, we can be surrounded by stories of those who came before us & made the impossible, possible. We can listen to Jim Carrey talk to Oprah about the million dollar check he wrote himself & kept in his wallet years before he landed his first major film role, or we can listen to Sylvester Stallone discuss being rejected from a thousand auditions & having to sell his dog to pay his light bill while we wrote the script for Rocky, because it was obvious that the only movie he'd be allowed to star in is the one he wrote himself. We can sit as Mama Iyanla tells her how she had to change the locks on her violent husband & then the stab him through the chain on the door after he got it open anyway, because she wasn't gon' let him beat her ass not one more time. Even if there is not a single person around who believes in you, respects your vision or understands that your purpose just won't leave you alone, go get your damn jars.
As many as you can.
And once you gather up all the testimonies of those who have fulfilled their purpose, which you now owe it to yourself to fulfill, according to the story, you must go into the house with your sons, shut the door & fill those empty jars. If we understand that the house represents the body, & the door is the place through which the your subconscious mind (widow) & realization of your true potential (sons) go in & out, then we understand the door is our mouth. In other words, when its time to fulfill your anointing, you must go inside yourself, shut your damn mouth & just DO YOUR WORK. (Why is the bible so shady tho lol)
And what is that work, exactly...? In the story, the sons brings the widow the empty jars one by one, & she fills each jar from her one jar of oil. Following the metaphor, this means that inside your mind- in silence, you go about the task of 1) recognizing that you have a divine purpose (son), 2) using that awareness to feed your subconscious mind (widow) examples of those who have filled their purpose ( empty jars) in order to 3) pour your little bit of oil into each one of those examples, one by one. If anointing is divine authority to act, then the filling of each jar is giving yourself permission, bit by bit, to become the same as the person in each testimony, aka a freaking miracle. The very act of focusing on their divinity ignites your own. Which basically means the hardest work of fulfilling your purpose & realizing your infinite potential is having faith that you CAN through believing all them other folks already DID. Once you do that, the rest is lowkey easy.
And Elisha said, go forth and sell the oil, & pay what you owe, & you and your sons live off the rest.
So what does it mean to sell the jars of oil...? It means you go out & exchange you newfound abundance of faith in yourself for currency, which is time. It means you now have more than enough time to fulfill your purpose because you believe you do. It means that from now on, you will always have enough faith in yourself for the current moment. It means that you have sufficient faith in miracles, because you finally realize the miracle is YOU. Whereas you were worried about being indebted to the service of someone else's vision & purpose, now you know you have the means & opportunity to execute your own.
And when, in some not-too-distant future, you see someone struggling to pay what they owe themselves because their potential has been widowed by poor choices, you give them your empty jar.
Tell them, I know you CAN, because I DID.
Period.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
~ Philippians 4:6
oubria@gmail.com