Hugs to you, Mama. I know for a fact that you are doing the best you can. ​
Many sources say that eviction is one of the single highest health risks to black children, because access to adequate housing is a predetermined factor to health & well-being. It is hard to be healthy & happy without a stable home.  Black mothers are the highest demographic of evicted renters in the US, even in cases when they earn more than white, Hispanic or non-Hispanic mothers. Black women are also disproportionately evicted due to unpaid rent because even though we are most often the sole earners in our families, we tend to have lower earnings & net worth than other demographics.  This is a problem everywhere but especially here in the Bay Area, where the cost of housing is one of the highest in the country.

I’ve been evicted three times. The first time was when I had one child & was 8 months pregnant with my second; the second time was when I had four children (the youngest was less than a year old), my mom was terminally ill & I’d lost my job; the third time was when I had five children (the youngest child was only two) & I was fighting to leave an emotionally abusive relationship, all while battling a roach & bedbug infestation that the landlord had purposely hidden.  Each time I realized my children would have to leave the place they’d come to call home, I felt guilty, broken, worthless, ashamed. There is no worse feeling as a mother, than knowing you can’t provide what your babies need & deserve. If you’re reading this, you can probably relate. Families here need help. If you’re a mother & you’re worried about how to handle an impending or ongoing eviction, hopefully this section can provide you with some useful information. Here’s what I’ve learned (mostly through trial & error):
  • Moving Past Your Fear 

​If you’re worried about eviction, you probably feel stressed & afraid every time you think about your situation. That was certainly the case the first time I was evicted. The thought of being “put out” was so painful, that I never wanted to think about it. Like an animal being hunted, I became paralyzed with fear. I buried my head in the sand hoping for the best, expecting the worst, & too timid to do anything within my own power to help myself.  Since then I’ve learned that fear itself is the obstacle,  even more than the eviction. Fear makes us give up on solving our problems before we even try.  We lose the race because fear convinces us it's pointless to even show up. Let me remind you that this isn’t over. You have options. There is help available. Your landlord doesn’t have the final say over you & your babies’ lives. But in order to win, you have to be willing to fight. It's ok to feel fear while dealing with obstacles, but it’s not ok to let the fear keep you from dealing with your obstacles. There is unimaginable power in showing up & being willing to deal with what's in front of you. 

  • Keep the Lines of Communication Open With Your Landlord
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If your landlord is trying to evict you, he or she is likely the last person you want to communicate with. You could be feeling all kinds of negative emotions toward them, such as rage, shame, rejection & fear. You might be afraid that they’re upset with you; that they have power & authority over you; that you’re “in trouble.” Keep in mind that this is your fear talking. You are not “in trouble.” Your landlord doesn’t not have power & authority over your person, only the property. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Life is expensive, ok? Paying high rents is hard. Remember that your landlord has expenses & bills & fears & shame & pain just like you. Do not lose sight of the fact that you are both human beings. Your landlord is not your enemy. Don’t stop communicating with them, even throughout the eviction process. If you turn them into your enemy, they will want to get rid of you faster. No one wants to be around someone who hates them. If you see your landlord around, say hello. If he or she calls, answer. Be polite. Refuse to become a number, or a statistic, or a shadow to be avoided. Look them in the eye. Hold your head up. 

  • Pay What You Can; Negotiate the Rest  

Try not to get overwhelmed if you owe a huge past due amount of rent. Rent is not all or nothing. Your landlord would certainly prefer some of what you owe, as opposed to none. Have some honest conversations with yourself. Perhaps you can’t afford the whole amount but what can you pay? Is there anyone you can borrow from? Give your landlord whatever you can, whenever you can; ask for a receipt or keep your own records so that you know exactly what you paid on which dates.  If your landlord refuses to accept partial payments, put the money aside. Do not spend it. That way if you wind up having to go to court, you can tell the judge that you have a certain amount set aside for your rent, & your landlord is refusing to take it. No matter how your landlord behaves, make sure you are doing the best you can, & documenting everything in case you need to show  a judge. 

  • Make Sure You Understand What’s Happening

​Evictions are a complicated process that involves lots of paperwork & legal terms that can be hard to understand. It's important that you grasp your rights & responsibilities during every step of the way. Therefore:
  1. Keep every single piece of paper your landlord gives you. Your landlord is required to give you a copy of all paperwork filed against you. Each piece of paper is important. Keep everything together & organized so that you can reference your paperwork whenever necessary. 
  2. Get help understanding all the legal terms & procedures. Unless you are an attorney, there will likely be parts of your eviction paperwork & procedures that you don’t understand.  So, you’ve got to find someone who can explain everything to you. The websites for Alameda County, the city of Oakland, & the city of San Francisco all have pages dedicated to helping tenants understand what’s happening during the eviction process. There are also hotlines that you can call. Click below to access these websites or click the quick links at the top of this page.​

Alameda County Eviction Assistance

San Francisco Eviction Assistance

City of Oakland Eviction Assistance

  • Research All of Your Options / Resources
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​If your family, community or social network can’t help you with the money you need, don’t get discouraged. There are local organizations, charities & churches that would love to help. The important thing is to contact these organizations early  & often, so that they have time to help you. Time is the most important thing. I found two websites that lists groups & resources in the Bay Area that can help you with everything from paying overdue late rent & bills, to security deposits for a new place. One is through the San Francisco Sheriff’s office, & the other is through an Oakland/ Alameda County website. Click below to access those sites or click the quick links at the top of this page.

Organizations That Can Help
​(San Francisco)

Organizations That Can Help (Oakland / Alameda County)

  • Show Up In Court

Even if you haven’t been able to strike a deal with your landlord, & even if you aren’t able to pay the past due rent, it's still very important that you show up to your court date. Arrive on time; bring your paperwork including receipts from partial payments. If you don’t show up, the judge is more likely to sympathize completely with your landlord & rule in their favor, leaving you little time to vacate the premises. But if you do go, the judge will be able to see both sides. If they rule that you do have to move, the judge will announce the date by which you need to move, typically within five to seven days after your court date. 

  • Face the Next Steps for a Smooth Transition

If you’ve tried everything you can to prevent the eviction but the process is still moving forward, then at this point, you know the date when you have to leave your home. You might be tempted to avoid this reality & keep carrying on as usual, waiting until the last moment that you absolutely have to deal with moving. I understand; I’ve done this before, too. But take my advice- start preparing to move immediately. Getting evicted is stressful enough without having to figure out everything last minute. You need time to discuss the next steps with your family, get packing supplies, organize & pack your things neatly, schedule your utilities to be shut off, & figure out a storage situation if you aren’t immediately taking your furniture, etc. to a new place.  If you need to move in with family or friends, don’t wait until the last minute to ask. Give them time to process what is happening, & make space for you.

  • Leave the Space as Nice & Clean as Possible

You might be tempted to leave unwanted items behind, or leave the apartment messy or dirty, or leave some things broken, stained, etc. I can certainly relate to the impulse. If you’ve been put out of your home & processed through the court system, the last thing you care about is leaving the rooms clean for the landlord’s convenience. But that’s exactly what you should do. Do not give your ex-landlord the satisfaction of thinking bad thoughts about you. Instead, honor yourself & your children by cleaning & blessing the space you held. Also, landlords talk. If your future landlord speaks with your old landlord, make sure they have nothing bad to say beyond the eviction. Not only that, but renters are quick to turn away single moms because of messed up  stereotypes. Therefore  in real life, we have to disrupt their expectations in a positive way so that the person coming behind us will experience more grace. 

  • Don’t Wait For the Sheriff
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Typically, the sheriff will arrive to vacate you from the premises within five business days of the court order. You won’t know the exact day or time, but when they show up, you’ll have to leave immediately. Make sure you’re gone before then; waiting for the sheriff to arrive is needlessly traumatic for you & your kids. Not only that, but if you haven’t packed by then, you won’t have time to. Protect your mental health & personal belongings by vacating early.